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How i took signs of Swans from the universe and turned it into my next art muse.

If you have been following my art, you may have noticed the influx of swans within my paintings and clothes. You may have thought, “hmm that’s random” or maybe, “I suppose swans are beautiful creatures.” Swans are beautiful creatures but my fixation on them has not been random. 

Let me tell you why. 

Over the summer, I started seeing swans. They were infiltrating my everyday life in a way I could only explain as a sign from the universe. Every estate sale, vintage shop, and secondhand store I ventured into had swan paintings, knick knacks, statues and figurines. At one point, I was sitting in the park with a friend, explaining the swan phenomenon. As I carried on telling my story, two swan boats floated by us. I wish I was lying, but the evidence had been so clear.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved swans. The Ugly Duckling was a favorite book of mine. I was a ballerina for 16 years… Swan Lake is iconic. Yet, something about the amount of swans I had been seeing felt purposeful. Finally, I looked up what the symbol of swan meant. 

Love, devotion, romance, commitment. 

Swans are monogamous; they find partners for life. 

Seven days after I looked up the symbolism for swans, my boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed to me. What makes the story even more WILD is that he stopped in a liquor store to grab a bottle of wine for our “date” on the lake. He came into the car and handed me a bottle. There was a swan on the label. When I asked if he had chosen the bottle for any particular reason, to this day, he swears he grabbed the first bottle on the shelf. I was in awe. 

Maybe I was seeing what I wanted to see or maybe the universe had been speaking. 

The swan symbol now has become about even more than just engagement and marriage. It has led me into a beautiful space of self-discovery. 

Becoming a bride has made me nostalgic and reminiscent of the dreams I had as a child. I think oftentimes, marriage is seen as a goodbye to childhood and HELLO to adulthood, making a family of your own. And yet, I have felt an even more childlike sense of wonder in these past few months. 

While I romanticize my upcoming wedding (of course), I have also been eager and determined to romanticize the relationship with myself. My mom has been taking me to see the Joffrey Ballet a few times this past year and I have been overwhelmed by how much I miss dance. I received ballet shoes for Christmas so I can reinvigorate that love. 

For some time, I had become increasingly hardened by life. In some ways, I liked my hardness. I had felt that no one could ever break me and that success and a fierce dedication to my craft would get me anywhere I’d like to go. I was convinced that having a more masculine energy was the way to be taken seriously anyways. (read this blog to find out more) 

Seeing the swans, receiving ballet shoes, reflecting on my childhood, being in love, trying on gowns– the entirety of this chapter in my life has been scary, but also incredibly enlightening. 

Scary, because for so long, I was determined that my femininity was holding me back. I was sure that being in love and having support meant I had failed to do things on my own. 

Enlightening because I had come to realize how much love being and feeling feminine. I love dancing, I love pink, I love drinking coffee out of tea-cups. I love being in love, feeling strong, feeling vulnerable, feeling beautiful, feeling soft. I love being a swan.


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